“Wait behind the line. One at a time,” the security guard cautions as my teenage daughter and I approach the check in for airport security. She is still a minor and does not yet have a driver’s license, so she is by my side as I step up to show my ID.
“We are together,” I state loudly, my shoulders tense and my chin raised.
The guard’s eyes dart from me to my daughter, his face shifting from annoyance to confusion (“You don’t look like each other!”) to realizing his false assumption.
“Oh, you’re together?” He shrugs. “Go ahead.”
Being a multiracial family, we are accustomed to these moments of noticing other peoples’ puzzled reactions to us. Sometimes our bond as a family is questioned or invisible to others, and sometimes there are subtle, fleeting glances that reflect back to us the fact that we are different. I acknowledge that being white may make it safer for me than for my daughter, who is Asian American, to speak up and correct a mistaken assumption.
Everyone is affected by assumptions and stereotypes based on race, class, gender, ethnicity and sexual orientation – exponentially more so for those in marginalized or targeted groups. The recent political landscape of divisiveness has led many people to see the importance of listening to each other across our differences.
No matter our appearance or what identity groups each of us belongs to, I believe that empathy can be cultivated through sharing stories of times we felt “other” or not seen for who we are.
In my upcoming workshop “Understanding the ‘Other’ in Us” participants will come away with the beginnings of a personal story, telling of a time when they experienced “otherness.” It is my hope that this workshop will be helpful both on a personal level, and serve as a model for those who aspire to facilitating groups to build understanding across differences.
Sharing the Fire: Northeast Storytelling Conference will be held on March 24-26, 2017 in Plymouth, MA. The theme is “Voices Across Borders: Creating Connections” and features keynotes, panels, workshops and performances by international storytellers.
My workshop runs Sunday morning, 10:30 –noon. Hope to see you there!