“Try to be present and listen respectfully, with an open mind,” I suggest. I facilitate personal story sharing in schools and organizations with the aim of building understanding across human differences. I frame the session with guidelines, and by setting the intention of listening.
“This is a time to listen to personal stories, to try to understand the reality of some members of your community,” I say. “Your task is not to articulate opinions or to formulate counter arguments. Your job is to simply listen. How might you relate to what is being shared, even if your life experience is quite different?” Rather than seeing the teller as “other,” this directive steers participants to listen empathically.
Responses are invited in a highly structured way. “After you listen,” I guide them, “you may respond by highlighting some aspect of the stories that you appreciated, and then specify how you resonate with the teller’s story, how your own experience is in some way similar to theirs.”
I have witnessed polarized people suspend ideological or political differences and relate person to person. For me, these moments are like a series of doorways opening, discovered in the eye contact and the flow of imagery, memories, tears, laughter and exchange of breath as a story is shared. By directing people to listen for and acknowledge points of connection, I strive to create a pathway of common humanity and understanding.
See Hear Our Voices for more description of this work. This post is adapted from an article “Pathway to Understanding” to be published in Storytelling Magazine in January 2017.